Anxiety.

I only have two more classes this week. I am so happy about it. I did well this semester, but it was an easy one. School will only become more challenging from here on out.

It was so fun hanging with Dave this weekend. I told him I would consider moving out to L.A. when I finished with school. We are going to start a band. This is going to happen!

I am so anxious about doing my presentations this week. I have been living with Panic Disorder for about six years now. Panic has made performing a big challenge for me. I get so sick when I feel anticipation for a performance or presentation. My symptoms include vomiting, coughing, dry mouth, and stomach discomfort. I hate it. I am nervous about tomorrow morning. I am afraid to stand up in front of the class.

The funny thing is that I always do well no matter how anxious I get. I am dreaming of living a life free from the discomfort of anxiety and panic. The adrenaline rush does make me a better performer; I have to remember this.
I will be ok tomorrow morning in front of the class.

I can let go of the pressure I place upon myself to be the best at everything.
I can't even describe how much stress I feel in these moments.
I am going to let it go.
I am going to be calm.
I am going to do well no matter what happens tomorrow.
I am.
I will.
I can be free of the stress.
I am only one person.
I deserve to let myself exist without this quest for perfection.
I can just be.

P.S. I saw him today, and I was alright. I guess this is growing up.