Angry Phase and The Rosebuds.

I have totally entered angry phase this week.

When I come down from this anger, I just feel humiliated.

I feel embarrassment, because I gave all of myself to someone who didn't seem to want it in the first place.
All I have are my perceptions of this past year.
I will never know how or what he truly felt for me.
The actions didn't seem to express that much.

I used to wonder why he didn't seem to want to invite me places.
I used to feel so mad when he would leave me for another place or crowd on nights out together.
Embarrassing.
He didn't want to be with me.
How could I have not seen that for an entire year?
I was blinded by my ambition to make it work.
Maybe it wasn't ambition, but desperation.

I'm angry again.

It's hard to not feel like I wasted a year of myself.
Really hard.
Fuck relationships.

By the way, The Rosebuds new album is wonderful.
I highly suggest the song "Border Guards."
They played a fantastic show at Solar Culture.
I took video of "Nice Fox."
My roomie and I also danced with them.
They were super sweet.
The Rosebuds are a band that I will continue to support for many years.